The FBI is creepy

Yeah, so for everyone's reference, whenever I promise to fill you in on something later, you can almost certainly rest assured that I will do no such thing.

So this week I've been working on a case against the FBI. I just spent most of the week reading several hundred pages of sword testimony (ok, I meant to type "sworn testimony", but I tried to correct it twice and somehow the typo remains, so I guess I'll leave it and assume my subconscious is trying to tell me something...) by high-ranking FBI Special Agents, Supervising Special Agents, Supervising Agents in Charge, and other overly-acronymed people and have come to some rather troubling conclusions.

The evidence seems to show that the FBI is an almost completely unified group who zealously retaliate against anyone or anything that threatens to expose or even acknowledge that the slightest wrongdoing has occurred. Everyone even remotely associated with the FBI seems to unconditionally support whatever "official" position on any matter that the FBI puts forth, including covering up gross misconduct or negligence, in order to preserve the FBI's all-importat "image."

I have come up with a few possible explanations for this phenomenon (any of which might wind up getting argued in Court).

The first is that the FBI is almost entirely composed of very excitable people who rigidly adhere to a set of unwritten rules that can basically be boiled down to "don't do anything that might make the FBI look bad" and "if you or someone you know does do something that could make us look bad, for pity's sake don't tell anyone."

Another possiblity is that each Agent is fitted with a mind-control device, though this scenario would not be objectively distinguishable from the first one.

Finally, (and perhaps most likely) is that the FBI induces atmosphere of absolute obedience because it either replaces all of its human staff with android-duplicates and is run by a cadre of shape-shifting aliens bent on inefficiently fighting crime.

Wee.